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Archive for the 'Mad Schemes' Category

Ear worms must be burned out

You understand that, right? When a song is in your ear, and it burrows deep inside then you can’t use a scalpel to extract it. You need fire.

The best kind of fire is repetition: burn, listen, sing.

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Five blog ideas today

Seriously. Five. I woke up early (translation: wife woke me up early), spent time in ye ole coal mine, shouted like a madman at the children, openly made fun of coworkers who secretly patronized me behind my back (and plotted death plots and other forms of madness), travel to the comic book store and the cheese steak place, had five blog ideas (including one or two random story ideas), but waited until I got home to write them down.

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Bah

Reverse psychology doesn’t work.

I shall now resort to empty threats and hair pulling.

A little reverse psychology

We haven’t had snow in Chicago for quite a while.

Let me rephrase that.

We haven’t had snow on the ground that I’ve had to shovel in quite a while.

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Save the wabbits, save the wabbits!

So D– and C– were telling rabbit stories at work today. In the course of telling us all the cute stories about how their children cared for dying rabbits they taught me an interesting factoid about the little cottontails.

The mother’s hide their young in nests.

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I need 1000 excuses before summer.

I didn’t know that a phone call to the West coast could be so dangerous.

It’s my friend’s birthday tomorrow. We hadn’t talked in years, so I picked up the phone and called her. From our end, my wife told me that I sounded like our very first date– I wouldn’t stop talking.

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Resolution 0

Resolution 0:

In honor of the death of the old year, I hereby sacrifice a part of my old self to complete only one task:

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Grubby hands, greasy paws, tackle football

I’m helping raise a generation of hooligans.

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It’s just you and me, breasts

The wife is out, and I know we have enough time if we only start now. You say you’re cold? That’s ok. We can thaw through that chilly exterior. Just come over here.

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