My family decide to eat at Hooters. It’s early enough before the big game that we get a table handily and apparently they have many chicken wings ready at their disposal since they’re getting ready for the many Superbowl orders. And before you think that I mean “me and my brothers” when I say “family,” let me tell you that it’s my wife, my sister-in-law, my niece and me.
My older brother doesn’t try to meet up with us when my sister-in-law calls him.
Get me some wings and take pictures, he tells her. But in place of taking pictures (she has forgotten her phone) she decides to buy him a calendar.
Why is Daddy getting a calendar? my niece asks.
He’s going to read it to your brother, I say. My nephew has been found smuggling Maxim magazines and tearing out pictures of hot girls. He’s only 3.
Can I have one, too? she asks.
Sorry, sweetie, your uncle is being a dork.